Little Things are the Big Things
by MJ Awesome
Summary: So Rachel did it. She gave in and decided to have a relationship with Joey, but for all the wrong reasons. Things twist and turn as she and Joey are faced with troubles, leading things between Ross and Rachel to Heat up. RnJ the RnR
1. The Choice

Little Things are the Big Things  
CH 1: Don't Pretend to Care  
  
Even he didn't believe it. Before his simple mind could even comprehend the words that had just slipped out of her mouth they were lip locked. Rachel had just decided to give a relationship with Joey a try, despite the fact that she had just given birth to his best friend's baby. Joey pulled away.  
  
"Are-are you sure?" He asked excitedly.  
  
"Yes. I am." Rachel smiled before they began kissing again.  
Phoebe, Monica and Chandler were the firsts to know. Excitedly, Joey and Rachel ran in with Emma. Smiles wide and gushing.  
  
"W-what happened? Did Emma roll over?" Monica asked eagerly.  
  
"No, even better!" Joey smiled, wrapping one arm around Rachel.  
  
"We're a couple!" Rachel shrieked.  
  
"Oh, really?" Monica asked calmly when they told them.  
  
"That's good." Chandler said in the same tone. Joey felt them put on an act showing only lukewarm sentiment. The truth was, neither of them wanted this to happen. All this meant to them was another blow out fight between Joey and Ross. Monica knew her brother, and he would not be happy about this.  
  
"Can you at least show some enthusiasm?" Rachel asked.  
  
"Rach- don't." Joey said knowing that this would be a problem.  
  
"What do you mean 'don't'?" Rachel asked him before turning to Monica and Chandler again. "When you guys hooked up we were so happy for you, why can't you at least PRETEND to be happy for us?" Rachel asked.  
  
"Hmm, let me think. What do you thing Ross is going to think about this?" Monica asked, her voice growing tense. The tension in the room was almost crushing everyone.  
  
"Uh, what Ross thinks isn't really my problem, now, is it?" Rachel snipped.  
  
"You know what? Fine. Whatever, you guys. Do what you want. Get married. Have babies. Whatever you do, I'll be there. But I can't promise that there will be much of a group afterwards." Monica said harshly before exiting to her room. Chandler followed, but only to talk to Monica. Rachel sighed and looked at Phoebe.  
  
"What do you think, Pheebs?" She asked. Much to Joey and Rachel's surprise, Phoebe was less than supportive. She simply mumbled something about 'Lobsters,' before leaving the room.  
  
"Oh my God. Why are they doing this?" Rachel asked. Everyone knew that they weren't being the best friends to them right now. But the truth was that they were scared for Ross.  
  
"Well, you think they took it bad. Now we have to tell Ross."  
Joey didn't go with Rachel to tell Ross. He knew that no good could come out of that. Rachel went alone, knowing that she and she alone would be able to console his anger. She knocked her fist against the door. He answered it within only seconds.  
  
"Hey. Something wrong? Is Emma okay?" He asked.  
  
"No. Emma's fine." Rachel said blankly. "We just- we need to talk." She said. Suddenly she felt guilty after watching his eyes light up with the simple phrase, 'We need to talk.' He must have thought it was about her and him getting together. She felt her heart being pulled in two different directions. Rachel just spit it out. She figured that it was like a band- aid. The faster pulled, the less the sting.  
  
But the speed didn't make it any less painful. As soon as he heard, 'Joey and I are a couple,' Rachel watched a part of him die.  
  
To her surprise, however, Ross was relatively calm. This didn't mean that he wasn't upset or didn't care. No, he wouldn't let himself hurt in front of her. The pain would come later when he had to lay in bed alone. Praying for dawn.  
  
"When?" He choked. Rachel pulled her purse strap onto her shoulder more securely.  
  
"Yesterday." She shared.  
  
"But,' he chuckled uneasily. "But we were so close." He said quietly. "I never thought-"  
  
"I didn't either, Ross. It just happened. I never knew I had these feelings. But...I do."  
  
"So, you and Joey are going to raise our daughter." Ross said nodding. Letting the words soak in. "Ha. Joey is going to be MY daughter's step dad!" He said, his voice growing. "Who-who WOULDN'T be happy?" He asked. He began pacing.  
  
"Just knock that off!" Rachel said, raising her voice as well. "Who even knows if it will get to that point?!" She asked. Ross sat back down.  
  
"So, you've moved on. You're just going to throw away feelings or whatever the hell you felt?" Ross asked, realizing that he had repeated something Rachel had said so long ago. The night they had shared their first kiss.  
  
"Well, after every thing we've been through I've gotten pretty damn good at it." She snapped.  
  
"Who is benefiting from this?" Ross asked angrily, changing the argument into a new direction. "If you still have feeling for me, do you think it's fair to Joey?"  
  
"ALL is fair in love." Rachel said.  
  
"And war." Ross added.  
  
"I guess I should go." Rachel said standing up. Ross sighed.  
  
"Yeah. Maybe you should."  
When Ross told them, *they* could hardly believe it. He had gotten a job in California.  
  
"I *have* to go." He lied. In reality, he had put in for a transfer. That month had been rough. Within just weeks of Rachel and Joey confessing, Ross was moving and there was little doubt in anyone's mind why he was so eager to go. After everyone had said goodbye, Rachel asked for a moment alone with him.  
  
"Why are you really leaving?" Rachel asked, knowing the answer.  
  
"I have to go. It's my job." That was exactly how he said it too. Just like all of his conversations with her and with Joey. Short, choppy and to the point.  
  
"You're going to leave Emma here. Without a daddy?" She asked.  
  
"It's not like that." Ross said. "Besides, it's only for a year. I'll be back by her first birthday."  
  
"I don't think you should go." Rachel said. "I think you'll feel alone."  
  
"Oh, since when have you cared how I feel?" He asked, hoping that his words would pierce her heart. And they did. Rachel stared at him.  
  
"I've always cared about you Ross. I always will." She said hurtfully.  
  
"Jus-just stop!" Ross said loudly. "Don't pretend to care! You care about yourself, and Emma and Joey. You care about the guilt that YOU will be stuck with. The guilt that YOU will feel. Once again, here's Rachel Green. Thinking about herself." Ross said. He didn't care how rude or harsh he sounded. Ross had turned bitter.  
  
"You know what? That is so not true!" Rachel defended tearfully.  
  
"Oh, bull shit Rachel! You're just upset because you know why I'm really leaving. You know why-" He began to feel his eyes brimming. "You know why I'm not going to get to watch my little girl grow up. I'm not going to get to see her first step. Hear her first words. I won't be there, but Joey will." He paused, watching Rachel's shameful expression grow and grow. He quieted before continuing. "And it kills you, doesn't it? It kills you to know that the only man who will love both you and that little girl is me. And no one will love you both like I do. So save the 'I care' thing for Joey." He finished.  
  
"Fuck you, Ross!" Rachel screamed in anger. "Maybe some of that is true, but we tried! Okay? God KNOWS we tried, and it just didn't work! And now, now I am happy! I'm moved on and you should too! Nothing will be the same between us and you need to accept that! We are just not compatible!"  
  
"You look me in the eyes and tell me that you love Joey. You tell me that you think that he is really going to father your baby." Ross said, holding her am. Rachel looked down. Ross nodded, smiling maliciously. "How long, Rach?" He whispered. "How long before he leaves both you and Emma alone. How long before the REAL Joey comes back and starts womanizing. He can't help it. That's him!" He whispered harshly to where it almost wasn't a whisper at all.  
  
"No, he loves me!" Rachel fortified. Ross stood up straight and picked up his bags.  
  
"And it's pretty sad too. Because you will never be able to force yourself to love him." Ross leaned in and kissed her on the cheek. "Bye Rach."  
XOXOElizabethXOXO  
  
In case people are wondering, this is a JnR fic that will be turned into an RnR fic. 


	2. One Year Later

Little Things are the Big Things  
CH2: When You Come Back To Me Again  
  
"Rach, I heard the whole thing." Monica said, coming in the room towards her. Rachel wiped her eyes and sighed.  
  
"Yea, well, what the Hell does he know?" Rachel asked huffily. "I can too love Joey." She said choking. Monica lowered her eyebrows and looked to Rachel as if to say, 'I don't think so.'  
  
"I'm sorry." Monica said after Rachel reacted to the look. "Okay, sorry. It's just; your feelings came to a head right after you and Ross were going through another tough time. It just seems like Joey was second choice. Like he was someone to fall back on." Monica said truthfully. "And I really think Ross had a few good points." She added.  
  
"Like what? How somewhere in there he labeled me as only caring about myself? How no one can love me?" Rachel asked as she started slamming stuff around in a fit of anger.  
  
"No!" Monica said a bit annoyed. "That it's only a matter of time before Joey goes back to his old ways." Monica sighed. "And that Joey gets to be there while Ross isn't."  
  
"Well, it was his choice to leave!" Rachel yelled.  
  
"Oh my GOD!" Monica said bewildered. "He was right. You really can't see past your own nose!" Monica said folding her arms. "How easy would it have been for Ross to sit here every day seeing Joey with you and Emma and knowing that that's not him? I have no doubt in my mind that he loves you both, and that would have killed him!"  
  
"You know what Monica? I think I've had my share of listening to the Geller's today. And you'll see. Joey and I will be happy. Happier than anyone else in this world!"  
ONE YEAR LATER  
  
Rachel sighed. Joey had just stared at another waitresses butt as she walked by. It was getting harder and harder for her to remember why she had said yes to Joey. She knew what he was like. And after a year and one month of dating, she couldn't help feeling suffocated and unhappy. But she would never tell the others. Rachel had become quite an actress. Pretending to be happily dating Joey. Rachel knew what they would say. They had been right, all along.  
  
Joey was also Emma's friend. With her only contact with Ross being a few pictures and a check in the mail, Emma didn't know of anyone else. And Rachel knew that the reason why Emma and Ross didn't have one bit of a bond was because of her. And she resented that.  
  
Rachel looked to Joey when the check came. Joey aid out a fifty and sighed.  
  
"So, how was your day?" Rachel asked. That had been pretty much their only contact.  
  
"Fine. Yours?" Joey asked, completely distracted by the same waitress. Rachel stared at that waitress too. She recognized her. It was Chloe. That woman from the Xerox place. Rachel felt her stomach shift. She looked back at Joey, whom looked like he was mentally undressing Chloe. Rachel scoffed and stood.  
  
"I'll meet you at the apartment." She said. She smiled though. Not letting the world see the unhappiness that she was branded with by her own woeful fate. Once inside the apartment, however, she let out everything. Everything that was on her mind she drank away, in mixtures of rum and grenadine. She was a truly miserable person.  
  
But then there was Emma. The apple of Rachel's eye. Emma was so much bigger now. Almost walking. She had Ross' hair. Black and curly. She had his smile too. Rachel would sit for hours watching Emma play. It reminded her of him. And that was one of the only places she found a safe haven.  
  
Joey came in. Both were silent as if dreading to see one another.  
  
"Hey." He greeted.  
  
"Hi." Rachel said back. She looked around the house, in total dismay of it's whereabouts.  
  
"Uh, when I asked you to do the dishes, I meant this millennium." Rachel complained, walking towards the sink. Joey sighed an exasperated sigh.  
  
"Sorry." He said. He began picking up around the apartment, cursing silently to himself. He was on the brink.  
  
"Well, to make up for it, go get Emma from Mon's." Rachel said, not making eye contact. Joey stared at her, then walked out as if it were a chore.  
  
Rachel looked at the calendar. It was Emma's first birthday tomorrow. Rachel had been waiting for this day for so long. Not only was she celebrating one full year of her daughter's well being, that was the day Ross was scheduled to come home. She had been practicing forever about what she was going to say to him. How he had been right and how naive she had been. But it wasn't that simple.  
  
There was still Joey. She couldn't just abandon him but that was another thing Ross had been right about. She hadn't ever forced herself to truly love him. And that scared her. That scared her because that made her sure that there was really only one person for her. And that person had been there all along, she just hadn't seen it.  
  
The door slamming made Rachel jump.  
  
"H-hey Joey." Rachel said, feeling guilty of her recent thoughts.  
  
"Hey." Joey smiled. He had Emma in his arms. Rachel took Emma from him.  
  
"Hello, big girl!" Rachel smiled. "Say, 'thank you Uncle Joey!'" Rachel said to Emma. Joey looked at Rachel a bit hurtfully, but this went unnoticed. Emma's hair was in two pigtails and pink ribbons. Rachel sent herself a mental note to thank Phoebe for doing it. "Let's get to bed." Rachel said in a motherly tone, kissing Emma's soft curls. "Tomorrow, you get to see daddy." Rachel whispered.  
  
8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888  
  
Ross stepped into the cool foyer of the Delta Airlines baggage claim. Luckily he had changed on the plane, remembering New York's cold weather. Even in the spring there was a slight chill and he was glad to have put on a warm coat over hit button up blue shirt. He adjusted his carry-on bag and set his tickets into his pocket before the loud buzz of the baggage claim conveyer belt began slowly taking the baggage to the waiting hands of the passengers. He saw his friend begin over to greet him. He was home.  
  
8888888888888888888888888888888888888888888  
  
Rachel paced. Monica thought that if Rachel had paced any more there would have been a hole in the ground.  
  
"Rach, relax. He's not due here for another 20 minutes." Chandler comforted. Rachel looked around. The pink streamers and the ballerina cake were all in order, and close family and the rest of the group minus Joey only occupied the room. Rachel checked her watch, and then laughed.  
  
"What is my problem?" She asked to no one in particular. Rachel walked into Monica's room, soon emerging with a sleepy Emma in her arms.  
  
"There's the birthday girl!" Monica smiled. But Emma just yawned and buried her face into Rachel's chest. Rachel set Emma on the couch and fixed her hair. Then, nonchalantly, Rachel fixed her own hair as well. That's when there was a knock at the door.  
  
"I thought we had 20 minutes?" Rachel whispered.  
  
"I guess they made good time." Monica whispered back. Rachel stood up quickly. Monica opened the door.  
  
Phoebe walked in first, then Ross.  
  
"Hi!" Monica greeted her brother, embracing him into a tight bear hug. Ross smiled and enveloped his sister.  
  
"Hey." He greeted sincerely. He looked over at Chandler. "Hey!" He said to him. Chandler ambled over and hugged Ross also. Ross then looked to Rachel. Ross' gaze knocked into Rachel, causing her to have a short, hard, intake of breath.  
  
"Hi." She greeted. Ross simply nodded from afar.  
  
"Rachel." Was his greeting. That's when a little head popped out from behind the couch. Emma stared at him, trying to think about where she had seen his face. Ross brought his hand to his heart and 'awed.' "Emma!" He breathed. Emma smiled. Rachel couldn't believe that Emma somehow knew who Ross was.  
  
"Daddy." She giggled. Rachel smiled. She had practiced with Emma over the pictures that she had stowed away of Ross and always pointed him out as daddy. Ross looked at Rachel, his heart melting over his little girl knowing who he was. And he knew that Rachel was the one he was to thank for that. He walked over to Emma and cradled her in his arms like he had wanted to do for so long. He had his baby. Once again, in a mix of emotions and the bliss of holding Emma, Ross caught Rachel's glace again, But this time, there was a brief if not subtle smile. Everything just felt OK.  
  
That's when Joey came in. His eyes, piercing the floor. He had chosen to come to the party after all, even though he had decided with Rachel that he wouldn't. But Emma was important to him. Ross was the one to say it first.  
  
"Hi Joey." He said, sincerely. Joey was taken off guard by how calmly Ross was reacting to Joey's presence. Joey flashed Ross a simple, signature "Joey half smile" as if to say, 'Are ya serious?"  
  
"H-hey Ross." He said shakily.  
  
"Joe, you act like you've seen a ghost." Ross said.  
  
"Well, I just thought with the whole Rachel-" Joey began. But Ross cut him off laughing uneasily.  
  
"H-h-hey now. We're all adults. Let's just put that behind us." Ross smiled back at Emma, whom hadn't let him let go. Ross looked at Rachel smiled a full smile this time, and the tension died as everyone listened to Ross tell tales of California and they all sang happy birthday to Emma.  
  
8888888888888888888888888888888888  
  
"Hey, Joe, she's getting sleepy. Can you put her to bed?" Rachel asked. Joey sighed as Rachel pried the little girl's sweaty head from her chest.  
  
"Sure." He said, mumbling something to himself as he left. It was only Rachel and Ross now. Rachel exhaled.  
  
"Ross, I want to talk to you." Rachel said after a long silence. Ross looked at her oddly.  
  
"About what?" He asked.  
  
"You know about what. I don't feel well about the ay we left things.."  
  
"Well, I'm here now. Don't worry." But Rachel did worry. She worried about her eternity of unhappiness.  
  
"Ross, you don't understand-"  
  
"No, seriously Rach. Things have never been clearer. I realized in California that I was holding you back-"  
  
"Ross-"  
  
"While you could have had all this time to go and be happy, I was there, messing you up." Ross said. Rachel paused, and smiled. She didn't knew there was nothing more she could say.  
  
"You're right. It's all better now. And I'm happy." She forced a smile.  
  
There's a ship out on the ocean  
  
At the mercy of the sea  
  
It's been tossed about  
  
Lost and broken  
  
Wandering aimlessly  
  
And God somehow you know that ship...is me.  
Joey came in, he looked tired and confused.  
  
"Uh, Rach. She wants you to come in and tuck her in." Joey said.  
  
"Oh, right." Rachel said walking towards the door. Ross moved forward.  
  
"Oh, c-can I come too? I want to kiss her goodnight. It's been forever since-" Ross asked.  
  
"Sure." Rachel smiled. Joey felt it.  
And there's a lighthouse on the harbor  
  
Shining faithfully  
  
Pouring it's light out  
  
Across the water  
  
For this sinking soul to see  
  
That someone out there still believes... in me.  
Joey followed far behind, watching Ross and Rachel walk across the hall. He was examining their body language. The way she went out of her way to touch him. The way he touched her arm of smelled her hair. And it hurt. He felt like the third wheel, which is what he had become.  
  
On a prayer  
  
In a song  
  
I hear your voice  
  
And it keeps me hanging on  
  
Oh, raining down  
  
Against the wind  
  
I'm reaching out till we reach the circles end  
  
And you come back to me again...  
  
Emma, Ross and Rachel made a picture in Joey's mind that stuck there. They were a family. And he would never want to be the one that got in the way of a family. That's when he made his choice.  
  
And you come back to me again  
  
XOXOElizabethXOXO  
  
When you come back to me again by Garth Brooks 


	3. If You're Gone

Little things are the Big Things  
  
Rachel ambled into the living room after she was sure that Emma was asleep. She was taken aback, seeing Joey waiting patiently behind the counter. He had a look of hurt on his face, and he looked as though he had been crying.  
  
"What's the matter?" Rachel asked with a bit of a giggle. She wasn't used to Joey looking so serious and it almost made her uncomfortable. Joey sighed.  
  
"Seeing Ross tonight was........weird for me." Joey admitted. Rachel paused.  
  
"Why?" She asked knowingly.  
  
"You know why." Joey said quickly. "I was watching TV today Rach." He said, sitting down in his recliner. He was on the edge of his seat. It was then that Rachel noticed his suitcase.  
  
"What's that?" She asked pointing. Joey looked at her with big, sad eyes.  
  
"I was watching TV today, and I sorta realized that, that guy would have been me. Or some other guy might have a part that I could have gotten." He said. "And then I look around here. We're not happy Rachel." He said. Rachel folded her arms.  
  
"Joey, you're being ridiculous." She said scoffing and brushing it off. "Come on! We're happy." She said unconvincingly. Joey shook his head.  
  
"I know you're not happy Rachel. I want you to be happy." He said. Rachel picked up Emma's teddy bear and hugged it, her eyes welling up.  
  
"Joey, you're talking crazy." She said.  
  
"No, I'm not Rachel." Joey said louder. Rachel knelt down beside him.  
  
"Joey, I love YOU." She said strongly. "Not Ross." She added. Joey's eyes opened a bit more, and he looked down.  
  
"I never said anything about Ross." He said, shaking his head. Rachel covered her mouth regretfully.  
  
"Joey-"  
  
"The truth is Rach, this isn't the life I signed up for." He said sadly. That stung Rachel. It showed.  
  
"What?"  
  
I think I already lost you  
  
I think you're already gone  
  
I think I'm finally scared now  
  
You think I'm weak, I think you're wrong  
  
"I didn't want to become a nanny for Emma, as much as I love her. I went from being a single, problem free guy to- a dad." He said. "Don't you get me wrong. I love you, both of you. But this just isn't what I expected my life to be like." Joey said sadly. Rachel, at this point, was crying, knowing how she had hurt him.  
  
I think you're already leaving  
  
Looks like your hand's on the door  
  
I thought this place was our empire  
  
Now I'm relaxed, I can't be sure  
  
"We're gonna get past this. You know it. Come on, let's just move foreward."  
  
"That's the thing Rach! You won't LET us move foreward!" Joey yelled, his eyes burning. He wiped away what little tears had developed in his eyes. "You are so stuck on the past, and so full of "regrets" and you can't sit here now and tell me that chosing me that day was one of them." He cried.  
  
"That's not true!" Rachel sobbed.  
  
"Bull shit Rachel!" Joey cursed. "You still refer to me as "Uncle Joey" to Emma! I'm the only form of a dad she's had the past year and that's all you'll let me be!" Silence followed, as both of them let their tempers die down.  
  
And I think you're so mean  
  
And I think we should try  
  
And I think that I need  
  
This in my life and I think I'm scared  
  
I think too much  
  
I know it's wrong it's a problem I'm feeling  
  
"Why is it just now that you are telling me all of this?" Rachel said quietly. Joey picked up his suitcase.  
  
"Ross coming back here tonight, the way you looked at him. It was all the straw that broke the camel's back." He said seriously.  
  
If you're gone  
  
Baby you need to come home  
  
There an awful lot of breathing to do  
  
But I can hardly move  
  
"Joey don't do this........" Rachel pleaded. "I'm sorry. You're right! I haven't even tried." Rachel weeped. "I promise, we'll start over. I'll give it my all-"  
  
"We had a year Rach. If you couldn't have tried then, what's it worth?" He asked. Rachel stared at her feet. "I need to go Rach. Just-" He paused, lifting her chin so look into her eyes. "Please, just let me go." He begged. Rachel put her hands on his, then pushed them away.  
  
"I think you're already gone." She blinked. .  
  
If you're gone  
  
Maybe it's time to come (Come home)  
  
There's a little bit of something me  
  
In everthing in you  
  
Joey sighed and took a step back "Goodbye Rachel." He whispered. Rachel said goodbye as well, not stopping him, as she watched him walk away.  
  
XOXOElizabethXOXO  
  
More soon! :) 


End file.
